Perfect submission, perfect delight

Those words from the old hymn "Blessed Assurance" are caught in my head today. I wish my heart could catch up.

It's just hard. You want to know, but you don't want to know. You want to plan, but you're not sure what to plan for, so you end up gameplanning both scenarios that tomorrow's phone call could bring. You work out responding to the news in both ways, how you'll tell people and what you'll say. Somehow, it gives you the illusion of control. You stick a pack of Kleenex in your purse, just in case. Doing it tomorrow might jinx it. Your ability to stay positive is wildly affected by what you see on each trip to the bathroom. The drugs don't help that cause. You want to focus on your day today, but you are fixated on tomorrow. Keeping busy just isn't cutting it. Tomorrow will come, but only in its own time.

So, we wait. And we hope. And we pray. And we trust. May our wills be so caught up with the Father's will that we are able to praise tomorrow's news, whatever it may be. Blessed Assurance, indeed.

This all feels (painfully) familiar.

Spotting has commenced. Let the obsessive toilet-paper checking begin.

Can one of you please remind me that it's "technically" not too late for implantation bleeding, someone else that lots of IVF pregnancies spot, and a third person that it can't be AF because I'm on PIO and C.rin.one, and a fourth that those drugs can cause some spotting? I'm also open to being reminded of what I have forgotten :)

Sometimes you just need to be reminded. Fingers crossed.

"Whooooa, We're Half-Way There . . .

Who-oa, Livin' on a Prayer" -- nobody says it like Bon Jovi.

The 2ww is more than half-way over.

There's a definite light at the end of the tunnel.

Prayers are fueling our steps, and calming our hearts.

Thanks for helping us stay positive and focused.

Come on, embies, and come on, Thursday!!!

So, what's really going on in there?

I can think of about a million scenarios for what's going on (or not going on) in my uterus right now. I know I've seen some sort of a chart or timeline for what happens each day after a 5-day transfer, but I can't for the life of me put my hands on it. Anybody know what I'm talking about and where to find it?

We got the word today that none of our embryos made it to the freezing stage. I was sort of sad about it, just conceptually, but making it fine until DH asked me "well, then what does that say about the chances of the ones they transferred?" Gulp. He has to have these questions after 5 p.m.! I'll call the clinic and ask tomorrow, but didn't know if anybody else had asked the same question and heard an answer?

Hooray for Friday -- we're almost there!!!!!!!!

Transfer? Check.

Everything went well yesterday - thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers! Beta test is next Thursday -- April 9. Our RE (who, as you may recall, we love dearly) was so encouraging. He said the embryos looked great, as did the lining (HT to acupuncture), uterine position, etc. He was thrilled with the transfer, so naturally we are too!

I did acupuncture before and after transfer, am doing a day-and-a-half of bedrest (er, working from my bed) now, and am doing these progesterone supplements on schedule. I feel like I'm doing/have done all I can to make this a successful cycle, and am resting in my faith that God has this all under control, whatever the outcome. Somebody please remind me of this on like Monday of next week when I'm pulling my hair out? :)

Enough about me, let's talk about you!

So much is going on the lives of my bloggie friends -- don't think I haven't been following along! Here are some folks you may know, and some you may need to visit for the first time (WARNING: pregnancy/babies mentioned, with great joy -- it is so encouraging to see women I started this bloggie journey with pregnant!):

The E's are in the homestretch (last 8 weeks) before their twins arrive!

Elle has graduated to the OB -- big time :)

Nity, Courtney and Jill, who have been some of my biggest cheerleaders since the beginning, are both expecting after FET, medicated IUI and IVF cycles, respectively.

Ashley is rocking a super-cute new haircut and expecting a baby girl after a sucessful IVF cycle.

Strongblonde, who has not had a straight and narrow path (I know, I know -- who has) is "officialy official" with her twin pregnancy.

Barefoot and (Not) Pregnant is getting ready for her transfer tomorrow -- sticky baby dust to YOU!

Some other dear hearts need comfort. I ache for their losses and news they had prayed so hard against. Joannah, Mo and Will -- I've learned so much from you guys, and truly admire your honest. Go over and give Caroline, who's had quite the time with this IVF cycle so far, a hug and some encouragement.

She called early, again!

More good news from Ellen the Embryologist -- all 8 embryos continued to divide overnight! Even though they don't do the grade thing anymore, I asked EE if she thought we were in good shape for Tuesday's transfer, and she said she thought we were in great shape. Whoohoo!

Thanks for all of your comments and support as we wait together. It really means a lot, and I am so very thankful.

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3