The Word from the Embryologist: Day 2

From the 6 fertilized eggs, we have 6 embryos! Praise the Lord! Our clinic grades on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the best. Our 6 grade out as follows: 2 are Grade 1, and 4 are Grade 2!! We are pumped, and so thankful. As always, thanks for your prayers, comments, and support.

We are heading out-of-town for a wedding, so there will be no Day 3 update for you guys until Sunday, but I will be sure and let you know the status as soon as we get home.

Happy Halloween!

The Word from the Embryologist: Day 1

Of yesterday's 8 eggs, 7 were mature, and 6 fertilized! Hooray!

Crossed that Bridge

Slowly, slowly, we are making progress on our journey to a baby. Retrieval went well this morning -- 8 eggs are now happily ensconced in the embryologist's den of magic. Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes. We are truly encouraged and prayerfully waiting for the IVF coordinator's call in the a.m. to find out how many of those eggs were fertilized.

Off to the races

Trigger tonight, retrieval Wednesday, transfer Monday, Beta 11/12.

Whoa.

Rut-ro

We went in this morning, as scheduled. Ultrasound looked great -- lots of follicles developing very well. Then we got the call this afternoon, and my estrogen is "a touch" high: over 2000. Yipes! So, my doctor wants to see me in again in the a.m. just to make sure everything is in check. A bit of a short leash, but I'm glad that they are being cautious. Yes, the concern is OHSS, but we're not there yet. Thanks for all of your comments - will let you all know what happens at the appointment. Hopefully tomorrow will bring clarity and a retrieval date!!

The Latest.

Day #5 of stims:

13 follicles

Estrogen 459

Progesterone .5

Our IVF coordinator was pleased with the progress, and we go back on Sunday for more tests and to find out when the "big day" will be!!!

The Unexamined Life

I'm a big believer in music. It describes the human experience so much better than I ever could, and challenges me to think through my thoughts and emotions in ways that I might not otherwise. We laugh around our house and say that if Wilco, the Rolling Stones, Phish or Alison Krauss don't sing about it, it's probably not really happening to you.

Those fabulous bands aside, I must confess that I'm a bit of a Broadway nut, and I do love "Wicked." One of the songs, "Dancing Through Life," has truly hit home recently. It talks about living the unexamined life, a world where woes are fleeting and blows are glancing. I'm sure some of you just started singing along -- what can I say, it's "Popular" (sorry, bad joke).

One thing's for sure: living through IF is not living an unexamined life. It is full of pain, and you and your spouse must think and pray your way through issues they just don't cover in pre-marital counseling. Sometimes I look at my friends who don't share these struggles and think they are living the life described in the lyrics: dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooth. I know that's not true. We each carry around our burdens and worries; no one's life is perfect. That's the temptation though -- to pretend that it is. Not to think too hard about it, to engage in a make-believe world where everything is surely going to work out in the end.

DH and I are challenging ourselves to live the life we have. Not to disengage. Not to float. Being truly in this experience, feeling the hurts, working through the worry, is where the growth will be. Yes, there's pain in the process. That's where we are stretched, sometimes almost unbearably. But that's also where God is. We seek Him there, and we trust that He will be there for us and with us.

Friends, I challenge each of you to join us in trying to be real and honest in this process. I also ask you to hold me accountable if you see me trying to "Pollyanna" my way through this, which is an ever-present temptation for me.

We have faith that if God brings us to it, He will bring us through it, and that applies to IVF as well. God is truly in the details. We trust Him now with follicle counts and FSH levels just as we pray to one day trust Him as we parent our much-prayed for child. Do we doubt? Do we get mad? Do we have days when we despair and fall victim to the "woe-is-me's?" Of course. Absolutely. More than I would like to admit. Do we continue to trust that God will use this for His glory? Always.

So here's to the process and focusing on finding the joy in the journey -- and to leading a well-examined life.

I can feel it.

You people have some powerful prayers! Last night was SO much better (thanks to all of your advice, too), and I just wanted to say THANKS before I am off for tonight's festivities. I'll check in after our appointment on Thursday . . . . hugs to all of you!

OUCH.

Not going to lie, people -- those stim shots hurt. Maybe I'm not doing it right? I don't know. At any rate, we'll push on through! Thanks for all of the comments!

Movin' and Groovin'

So far, so good on this IVF cycle. We had our suppression check last week, and I passed -- no cysts, hormone levels nice and low. Historically, I've had hormonal mirgraines whenever docs have monkeyed with my BCPS or anything, and that's been the biggest struggle of this cycle to date. Thankfully, our clinic was all over it and got me meds that were safe to take and that have worked like a charm. We add stim meds tonight (which I'm a little worried about . . . seems like a lot of mixing and screwing on needle tops and the like. We can do it!), and then go back in for a status check on Thursday morning. Thanks for all of the prayers, comments, and support!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Slaying dragons

9:30 last night was the witching hour. Let's be clear: I do not like needles. I'll gleefully take a 2-week round of antibiotics over a simple IM injection, and I scoff at those who take flu shots. My biggest concern about the IVF process (other than it not working) was the shots. No, I'm not going to wax poetic over my first Lupron shot, but I will confess to having been quite proud of myself for sitcking a needle into my stomach. I mean really people, it's pretty much against everything your mama ever taught you to do! After it was over (which was quickly and fairly painlessly), I did a little dance around the room and high-fived DH (who was in the other room yelling at the Saints on tv).

There's something oddly empowering about conquering fears. You really CAN do more than you think you can -- if there's a positive take-away from IF, I think that may be one of them. Here's hoping you can slay some of your own dragons this week, too.

Update

Thanks for all of your support. Our family is moving forward as well as possible, and we continue to covet your prayers.

We got our IVF protocol yesterday: Lupron starts Monday, suppression check on 10/15, then stims, retrieval sometime the week before Halloween, then transfer the week after. I can't believe it's really here! Maybe I should absentee vote? :)

Would love to hear suggestions and advice as we start the "real" part of this journey -- we're excited!

Hugs for Wednesday go to Sarah for her BFP and Jill for her FET!