Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Kicking Dirt

Standing around on the playground, somedays there wasn't much better to do than kick dirt. It was the reflexive reaction when you weren't getting your way and you didn't really know what else to do. Somebody steal your kickball? Kick dirt. Pigtails pulled? Kick dirt. Recess bell ring early? Kick dirt.

Somedays, the IF journey is just like the playground. Another pregnancy announcement? Kick dirt. A new person in your life ask you if you have children, and you pull out the "no, just dogs" bit again? Kick dirt. Hang up just two stockings again this year? Kick dirt. Somebody get pregnant without "enough effort," meaning anything less than multiple IVFs? Reaction to anything other than your plan? Tired of this whole process? Kick dirt. Kick dirt. Kick dirt.

We're in a period of waiting right now, with IVF #2 to begin in January. That said, the rest of the world isn't waiting to get pregnant, and happy announcements abound. I know there's joy in those families, and I'll get there for them, too. Today, I think I'll just kick some dirt.

20 comments:

MamaSoon said...

Kick some dirt but don't forget to kick up your heels a bit too.

WiseGuy said...

Nice post.

April said...

i like to kick dirt ON people during those situations. you know, like baseball :)

what's with all the pregnancy announcements lately? arg!

Rachie Pachie said...

I'll kick some dirt with ya...

Leah said...

Kicking mounds of dirt with you. Ugh..

Kischa said...

I like that!

KandiB said...

Kicking dirt is putting it mildly, right? You really want to kick a whole lot of something else :) Enjoy this Christmas. I always have to remember that everyone's story is different. Your time is coming!

Megs said...

Kicking one big heaping mound of dirt right along side you...

Alex and Jill said...

I kicked a little dirt today, as well. :)

((HUGS))

Mo and Will said...

I hear you. Loud and clear. Definitely starting to struggle with being happy for almost anyone's pregnancy - unless they've been through hell and back. Not exactly proud of myself for that but today that's where I'm at.

I Believe in Miracles said...

I like this post. Because I so often feel this way when I hear another PG announcement...

Faith said...

Came over from Jill's blog. I completely relate and have done my fair share of kicking!

Thanks for this real, honest post!

Rachie Pachie said...

Hey girl... just wanted to check in & letcha know I'm thinking about you. Hope you're doing well.

Karen said...

Hello, I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. The second paragraph of this really resonated with me...every single word. (but don't come visit my adoption blog, just kick some dirt in my direction) ((Hugs))

In Due Time said...

((Hugs)) Hope you have a wonderful Christmas and blessed new year.

ICLW

Mary said...

I totally feel you!

kMo said...

I find that sometimes you just have let yourself feel that way. But once you've done the dirt-kicking, things can get back to normal. Good luck in January. ICLW

Echloe said...

I hope January cycle stops the dirt kicking for you.

ICLW

Beautiful Mess said...

I hope your feeling less like "kicking dirt", if not..I'll kick some with ya. It's always nice to have someone to kick something with!
Hugs,
-D *ICLW*

Offshore Wife said...

May I kick dirt with you?