Monday, April 13, 2009


We are compiling questions for our follow-up with the RE next week. One of the front-runners: is it time to get a second opinion, and if so, where?

We are at one of the greatest clinics in the Southeast, but we are considering breaking out the big guns and heading to Colorado or New York . . . but maybe that's getting ahead of ourselves. Not quite sure yet, but sure would love to hear your thoughts on "where" to get the mythical second opinion. If it matters for your consideration, we have both endo and male factor.

Thanks for loving on us. You all are the best.


Caroline said...

Faith - I can relate to you because I am currently going through this process too. We have decided to go for another clinic because our first clinic was a complete disaster.
I have heard great things about Colarado and NY but have never experienced them personally.
I hope that the other ladies can offer you some advice. I'm thinking of you, C xx

Alex and Jill said...

I wish I knew enough about other clinics to say where I think you should go. Just know that I'm praying for the decisions you guys have ahead of you.


WiseGuy said...

Faith, Thank you so much for the book suggestion on my blog...I shall look into it for sure!

Do you get a second opinion?

Do you trust your doctors(the current ones)? Are you sure that their stats are authentic?

If the answer to both of your questions is YES, I think you should stick around a bit with the current ones. If either of the answers is NO, then, there is no harm in going to have another opinion...and comparing the protocols possible.

Take Care, All the best!

Leigh said...

I think go in armed with all your questions and have the appt before making any decisions one way or the other.

For me, trusting my doctors is a big thing so if you do, I'd stay a little longer...

I'm going to pray for God to lead and guide your decisions, okay?

S said...

I just wanted to say I'm so freaking sorry about the BFN, its so heartbreaking. I'm glad you're arming yourselves with questions though and picking up for the next cycle (the only thing that keeps me going). I don't want to sound like the proverbial 'devil's advocate' but if you're comfortable enough with your RE and are already at one of the greatest clinics, it may be a matter of discussing a change of protocol. You could always ring other "excellent" clinics and see what other kinds of protocols are out there for someone with endo and male factor. I've never had endo but I know a friend who had stage 2 endo who finally got pregnant (and had a boy) when she did a fresh cycle straight after a laparoscopy. Perhaps you have already done this before, but this could be an idea.

From personal experience the only reason we changed clinics was because our previous FS (fert specialist) believed in repeating the same protocol, each cycle, month after month, and I seriously wanted someone who would think "outside the box" (no pun intended) to get me pregnant, and to get me to STAY pregnant and so forth into live birth etc, which is something my current FS is managing to do quite pleasingly.

Also here, my FS/clinic (same clinic as the abovementioned buddy) goes crazy with the gimmicks - the primary rule being "do no harm" - I'm on so many crazy things like clexane (blood thinner), nitrodur (allegedly increases blood flow in the uterus), prednisone (for any of those "killer cell" theories) etc... Call the new clinics and say "what would you suggest"... that's what I did! Something worth trying?

all the best mate...

Leslie Laine said...

Hi Faith - I agree with Leigh. I think you need to go get your questions answered before you can consider another opinion. At this point, you just want to learn everything you can from this cycle. I'm thinking of you and have been praying specifically for you these last few days. You've really been on my mind. I hope that you are finding strength right now and taking care of yourself. I'll continue to pray for you as you and your husband make important decisions ahead.

IVF 40+ said...

Cornell. Dr Davis is amazing or so I've heard.

Anonymous said...

i think it's totally normal to be in this place. you know that if you go to NY or CO that you will have the best cycle you that is always a pro. but then you will have to travel, right? it's a legit question to ask if it's time to go somewhere else. if your RE is good...they can recognize when it's time to move on. :)

K said...

Information is power. Having the meeting with your RE is a good idea. Then follow it up with a second (or third)opinion. Colorado is supposed to be the deal. (I am working on my third opinion too). Good luck and good for you for taking a realistic approach.

I Believe in Miracles said...

First --- I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm praying for you and mourning with you.

Second --- I got to my clinic by a referral and have ended up having 2 other friends get pregnant there and 2 other friends currently trying. I think word of mouth and experience is a big thing.
Nikki and Nancy went to CCRM in Colorado. I don't know about NYC, but you can check with Dora (all links on my blog). You can also put a question out on L&F to ask when people decided to go for a 2nd opinion.
I know my clinic does a recap every week of a 'failed' cycle and it might be beneficial to ask all your questions to your clinic and then seek a second opinion. I believe some places to a phone consult.

Joy said...

Nothing wrong with trying and getting that 2nd opinion! You may regret not giving it a shot!

Anonymous said...

Hi Faith -

First, I'm so sorry to hear about the negative. I know how devestating that news is.

I'm right there with you in terms of when is the right time to try a new clinic in the hopes of different results. We're going to do 1 more with our current doctor (it will be IVF #3), and if that doesn't work, we'll head to Colorado.

My doctor actually refers patients that he's unable to help to CCRM, so gives me a lot of confidence in their abilities.

You can find a lot of good information on CCRM (and probably Cornell too) on There are boards dedicated to people cycling at both locations.

Good luck!

MamaSoon said...

Your courage and faith is inspiring. :D

Becca said...

Faith, I just recently found your blog and started following your story. I'm so sorry for all you have gone through. Thanks for the reminder that God is Lord over infertility - I needed to hear that today! I'm new to the blogging world - please stop by and visit me!

Sarah said...

hmm i haven't had experience anywhere but my current clinic (DC area) but i guess a good place to start would be the CDC ART success rates.

although i guess there are two considerations: do you want to change because you haven't had success or do you want to change because you feel something is lacking in the doctor-patient relationship?

if it's just based on success but you like your doctor, i guess i'd be willing to give my clinic 3 shots at ivf (excluding the cancelled/converted cycles) since that's the point at which the vast majority of people with my fertility problem (unexplained) tend to eventually find success. there is a book called Conceptions & Misconceptions, where you can look up the success rate for couples with your situation (i think the data comes from CDC so if you're patient enough to sort through their website you could save yourself the trip to the library).

look here for CDC data on fertility clinics (only up to 2006):

look here for 2007 success rate data on clinics:

look here for national CDC data on regional success rates as well as success rates for specific conditions:

once you know the national statistics for your situation, you can ask your RE about the success rate at your clinic (and really he/she should be able to give you the national data too), and if it's significantly lower you should definitely consider looking at clinics that perform better in your particular situation.

my understanding is that in general, endo rates are not significantly different from unexplained (so at least 3 tries is reasonable before moving on), but some studies have found that certain endo patients may have very different outcomes, which may need to be considered in the ever-subjective game of designing the right protocol. there's some info about this here if you scroll a little past half-way down the page: so if you feel like you're getting the cookie-cutter approach you may need to seek another opinion.

sorry for the long reply, but i hope that's helpful!

Anonymous said...


kanishk said...

Just know that I'm praying for the decisions you guys have ahead of you.
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